Infertile, No Sperm, fertility specialists, IVF, ICSI, blood tests, biopsy, ultrasound and more. Words that rapidly have become a part of my daily lingo.

We have recently discovered that we are fertility challenged, well that’s what I like to call it anyway. Something about the word infertile strikes fear into my heart. It seems like such a final word, like there is no hope, you’ve reached the end of  road for conceiving a child.

My partner  was recently diagnosed with Congenital Bilateral Absence of the Vans Deferens. Quite a mouthful I know. Basically it means that the tubes that carry sperm out of the testes have not formed properly. Its natures equivilant of a vacectomy. This means that my partner can father any children without the help of reproductive technologies.  To say we were heartbroken is an understatement, especially as at the time we didn’t even have name for what was causing it, all we were told was ‘zero sperm’, ‘infertile’ and given a referral to a specialist.

Now, we are few months down the track and starting our first IVF cycle. Hope, terror, anxiety and courage are just few of my daily associates, as well as tiredness, headaches and mood swings. But through it all, deep down in the pit of my stomach is the belief that surely this will work. That all the heartache, pain and financial cost will be worth it in the end, because the alternative is just to heartbreaking to even contemplate.